:: Lean On Me

Guest

. Having spent time with Ian yesterday, and having to pack more than once because of his antics, I had spent the night sleeping in my own room. I was now walking through the Set B dorms, dragging my case with me. I'd heard from some Set B friends of mine that Scott had been seen moving out of the dorm, so I knew i wasn't going to bump into him.

:: Spence :: "Leon, it's Spence. You in there?"

. I knock the door, not sure if he'd want to see anyone yet, knowing he would have taken this extremely bad. I wait patiently, hoping my best mate would open the door.

Subject: Re: :: Lean On Me 10th January 2012, 4:26 am

-'] I was sat in only my underwear and a stained shirt, slightly unbuttoned, hearing the door and the familiar voice. I was drawing a picture of a broken heart.

][Leon Ryder][
'GO AWAY!'

-'] I turn my attention back to my drawing.

Guest

:: Spence :: "Leon, open the door! Don't make me break it down"

. I knock the door again, tapping my foot, already losing patience for each second I wasn't in the room looking out for him.

:: Spence :: "We don't even have to talk. Just open the door Leon"

Subject: Re: :: Lean On Me 10th January 2012, 6:07 am

-'] I looked across at Scott's bed after Kate had helped me clean the room before inspection. I hear Spence again and ignore him, hopefully he would get the message and go away! I throw the pad down and lay back and cover my ears.

Guest

. I sigh, wishing I could help my best friend, but if he wanted to be left alone, I didn't want to get on his nerves by constantly bugging him. But i also knew in difficult times, being alone wasn't the best idea, and I wanted to be there for him.

:: Spence :: "Well, when you're ready I'll be sat out here. Even if it's all week"

. I don't know why, but sitting against walls or doors waiting on people was suddenly becoming my thing, I slide down the wall next to his door, resting my back against it as I sat down and put my case next to me.

:: Spence :: "I'm not going anywhere Leon. I'm your best friend, which means I'll always be here for you. So when you're ready"

Subject: Re: :: Lean On Me 10th January 2012, 6:45 am

-'] I push off the bed and walk over to the door, turning the key and unlocking it. I slowly open it, he stands up and I hug him.

][Leon Ryder][
'I'm ... don't leave me... sorry... Eli.. I love you.'

-'] I close my eyes and keep hold of Spence with my eyes closed and my tears returning.

][Leon Ryder][
'I'm...sorry.. I love y...'

-'] I trail off.

Guest

:: Spence :: "Come on you. Let's get you inside"

. I keep one arm round him, using my other to reach for my case and pull it in behind me as I move Leon further into the room. I kick my leg back to shut the door.

:: Spence :: "It's gonna be alright buddy"

. I keep hold of him, letting go of my kiss and then wrapping my other arm round him too, keeping him into my body. I could feel my eyes welling up, I was trying my best not to show how much it was killing me inside about Scott, but seeing Leon so destroyed was making it hard to keep things bottled, but I had to be strong, for him.

:: Spence :: "I'm not going to leave you Leon. I promise"

Subject: Re: :: Lean On Me 10th January 2012, 7:04 am

-'] I push him off, stopping crying and pick up my pad again. I turn the page to start a new drawing and ignore him even being in the room. I was a mess inside and out and my emotions ran out of control. I stand up, walking past him and pick up a bottle of water then sit back down.

Guest

. I watching his actions, just taking in how he was acting and how it had affected him. While I was keeping things in and being torn up on the inside, he was losing it on the outside as well as the inside.

:: Spence :: "Leon ...."

. I look at him but get no response. I grab my case, tossing it on Scott's old bed. I walk to Leon's bed, sitting on the edge of it and just watching him, not liking one bit of what i was seeing. He was in his own little bubble and his head seemed elsewhere. I call out to him again, trying to get him to look at me and focus.

:: Spence :: "... LEON"

Subject: Re: :: Lean On Me 10th January 2012, 7:20 am

-'] I jump, locking eyes with him and swallow.

][Leon Ryder][
'...sorry.'

Guest

:: Spence :: "Hi. I'm Spence!"

. I look at him, starring into his eyes and giving him a faint smile, wishing I had an instant cure to help him get over all of this. I look at my case, then back to Leon.

:: Spence :: "I heard you're without a room mate. And you shouldn't be on your own in here. So I'm moving in with you. Ciaran is a great guy and will understand, and I'm sure he'll be glad of the space cause he's a hard worker"

. I move a bit closer to him, turning my body more to face him.

:: Spence :: "I'm not going to watch you throw your life away over ... somebody....because you are worth SO MUCH MORE Leon. And no matter how long it takes us, I will help you through this. No matter how difficult things may get, I am standing by your side until you pull through all this"

Subject: Re: :: Lean On Me 10th January 2012, 7:46 am

-'] I nod and wipe my nose on my shirt.

][Leon Ryder][
'..sure whatever'

Guest

. I shake my head, not really sure he was understanding just how fucking special he was. I get up, walking over to him and placing my hand on his shoulder as I look into his eyes, making sure he properly read my lips.

:: Spence :: "Leon. You are fucking incredible. You're intelligent, creative, I'll be honest and admit it, you're hot as hell. You are such a wonderful person and one of the most caring people I've ever met. Your innocence is so rare and adorable. Leon you are perfect"

. I continue to look at him, not expecting him to suddenly feel so much better, but he needed to hear these words, even if he didn't pay much attention. But if he took at least ONE thing away from my words, I'd be happy.

:: Spence :: "I know it's easier said than done, trust me, i know. But do not think for one second that just because someone was so stupid to let you slip away, that you aren't worth anything. You're worth so much it's unreal. You couldn't compete with the history ..... neither of us could. But you will find someone Leon. Anyone with a brain would be lucky enough to have someone so special in their life like you"

. I drop my hand from his shoulder, pulling him into me and hugging him again. Even if he didn't believe my words, I wanted to show him I was here for him. And the truth was, I also needed him!

Subject: Re: :: Lean On Me 10th January 2012, 1:14 pm

-'] I knew he was trying to make me feel better by boosting my self respect.

][Leon Ryder][
'I know what your trying to do [pulling away] ..its not gonna work.'

-'] If I was any of those things then Eli wouldn't have left me. And I really wasn't perfect, far from it. Eli might have got with his 'perfect' 'wonder' boy. I look at Spence then look down at the bed.

][Leon Ryder][
'I'm sorry about..'

:: Lean On Me Normal27

-'] I may have been a mess but I knew that Spence was my best friend deep down. He was going through his own share of sadness and loss. I move my hand and gently lift his, so I was holding his hand and swallow.

][Leon Ryder][
'...you losing ...Scott.'

Guest

. I swollow the lump in my throat, hearing the words 'you losing Scott'. I breathe out, keeping hold of his hand and looking at him.

:: Spence :: "It's .... ye ... you know ..."

. I look down, gritting my teeth and trying not to cry my eyes out in front of him. I could feel the tears building up inside me, just waiting to come out. I'd even slept with Ian as a quick fix to try and get over Scott and move on. And as hot as it was and as much as I cared for Ian, I still couldn't stop thinking about Scott and wanting him back. Sex with other people was not going to help me get over him anytime soon.

:: Spence :: "I'm not trying to praise you loads just to make you feel better. It's the truth. We were both screwed from the start. It was never about you not being good enough"

. I look back up at him again, forcing a smile out.

Subject: Re: :: Lean On Me 12th January 2012, 7:39 am

-'] I look at him with a slight nod.

][Leon Ryder][
'I know.. it still doesn't stop it hurting or fix my broken heart. He was so important to me. I loved him so much and would have gave up anything for him. I thought I had lost him.. and .. its so hard.'

-'] I cover my eyes.

][Leon Ryder][
'He told me he loved me... Why would he do that? '

-'] I sigh.

Guest

:: Spence :: "He did love you Leon ... it's just ..."

. I sigh, not wanting to say this to Leon, but it was the truth. I swollow hard, hating the fact this applied to me too.

:: Spence :: "He loved somebody else more. I'm sorry Leon. I really am. I wish i could make it go away"

Subject: Re: :: Lean On Me 12th January 2012, 9:43 am

][Leon Ryder][
'Hmm.'

-'] I let go of him, standing up and making my way over to the bathroom. I take off my shirt and let it drop.

][Leon Ryder][
'You should unpack if your planning on staying.'

-'] I close the bathroom door and take off the final piece of my clothing. I kick off my boxers, needing to clear my head and a shower was always a good way of that for me.

Guest

. I watch him go into the bathroom and exhale slowly, wishing there was more I could do for him. I grab hold of my case, beginning to unload it, when my phone goes off. I take it out of my back pocket, flipping it open and reading the text. A faint smile appears on my face. Tomorrow was going to be a busy day! I drop my phone onto the bed and continue to unpack.