.| Beat Up

Subject: .| Beat Up 5th December 2011, 9:18 am

I made my way to the SET C dorms having not seen Spence for a few days since we talked in the gym. I found his dorm room stepping over all the stuff that was in the corridor. I knock on his door but didn't get anything.

.| IAN LOWRY |.
Spence.

I look at the door and slowly begin to open it to see if he was in. I look over at his bed and see him throwing a ball against the wall. He didn't look over but didn't seem to get angry. I walk to the bed and lay forward on it leaning on my hands looking at him.

.| IAN LOWRY |.
You beat him up.. goooood. Why didn't you beat me up when I talked about stuff in the gym?

I smile as he continued to throw the ball against the wall. I intercept it and put it under me still looking at him.

.| IAN LOWRY |.
I would have been easy to hurt.

Guest

. I look at Ian who was laying on my bed, now with the ball to pull my attention.

:: Spence :: "I didn't hit you because you weren't chatting shit, and you weren't using Scott as a weapon to get a point across"

. I stare at him and take in a deep breath then exhale. I sit on the bed and look at him, shrugging my shoulders.

:: Spence :: "I wouldn't hurt you anyway. I'd let my anger out in other ways. Thats why i'm avoiding the canteen and the hall where everyone is bunched up. I know with so many others around, as so many probably looking at me because I'm Scott's boyfr ... was ... I just know I'll lose my cool"

. I turn my body inwards so I was sat actually looking at him rather than looking to the side.

:: Spence :: "I wanted to see Leon, but I didn't want everyone else around. I wanted to see him one on one privately. I tried to go to his room at one point incase he was there but I couldn't even knock the door ... he shared with ... so ..."

Subject: Re: .| Beat Up 5th December 2011, 9:41 am

I nod and lower my eyes.

.| IAN LOWRY |.
I know...

I look at him getting lost in his eyes knowing how much pain was behind them. He had beautiful everything. I exhale and roll the ball to him with a little smile mirroring his stance.

.| IAN LOWRY |.
There are more and more people from the island pouring in everyday. I don't think everything is going well for Anakand. I think pretty soon we will be the only place left that is not...

I sigh and move closer to him putting my head on his shoulder.

.| IAN LOWRY |.
...a battle is coming.. there are these black figures above the castle.. kind of floating... its sca..

I didn't want him to do anything but being close to him made me feel safer and he needed to know the latest developments.

Guest

:: Spence :: "Hey .."

. I move my body so I could wrap my arms around him while we sat on the bed. I hold him close to me. Even though I was holding him to comfort him, it was also comforting me.

:: Spence :: "We'll be alright. Ruby will know what to do"

. I keep a tight hold of him, thinking about how he said more people were arriving here to hide. It was at that point i remembered in one of those vision things I had, i saw a bunch of people arriving and running into the castle. I hadn't seen anything about black figures hovering above us, but what if the visions I saw were coming true?!

:: Spence :: "Ian, these black things, has anyone said what they are?"

Subject: Re: .| Beat Up 5th December 2011, 10:00 am

I keep myself close to him loving the feel of his arms around me and his body close. I hide the fact that it was sending signals to somewhere on my body. I shake them thoughts away and pull back looking into his eyes again.

.| IAN LOWRY |.
No.. but someone said that they could be his oldest followers.. things that he summoned to our world from another.. ten years ago... its got colder and misty since they arrived.

I look down unable to keep his eyes contact for long.

.| IAN LOWRY |.
..it is said that this was one of the reasons his studies of the dark stuff had to be stopped which led us to him being ...killed and trapped in our DOM3.

I manage to look at him again feeling cosy with him.

.| IAN LOWRY |.
How come? Are we going to .... i mean... be alright.

Guest

. I give him a faint smile, not knowing the answer to that. I nod my head as i get up for a second, heading to my window and looking out. All i could see was the lightning in the sky with the rain crashing against the glass window hard. I could barely make out the black figures.

:: Spence :: "I can't really see them. They aren't very close are they. I wonder what they're waiti .."

. I stop what I was saying, looking at Ian and knowing I had to be more positive for him. It was my turn to be there for him, like he had been for me the other day. I get back onto the bed, laying on my back and looking up at the ceiling.

:: Spence :: "They may be linked to some dark power of his, but if he was beaten before, he can be beaten again. I bet Sandra and Sawyer are away right now, not because they wanted to get out while they could. I bet it's because they're getting everything they need to stop him. I bet they're still on this island, really close, just waiting for the right moment"

. I had to hope someone was doing something. If these visions were real, then I had to try my best to rethink EVERYTHING i saw.

Subject: Re: .| Beat Up 5th December 2011, 10:20 am

I hoped well for Sandra and Sawyer and everyone on Anakand Island. I did wonder what my family was doing right now and if they had found out about my 'death' yet. I lay back aswell even if he took up half the bed.

.| IAN LOWRY |.
Can I stay with you tonight? I don't make a sound and you won't even know I am here... its just..

I swallow hard.

.| IAN LOWRY |.
I think ... i have made a fool of myself with Mark and being with everyone in the Great Hall with everyone scared to go outside.

Guest

:: Spence :: " I .. "

. I'd never shared a bed with anyone other than Scott, and even though I was sleeping with Ian, i was still a little hesitant. I close my eyes, just thinking about Scott and how he made me feel. The fact that if he was scared, upset, worried about anything, then holding him close in bed would always make him feel safe. I know Scott as a captain, a best friend and as my boyfriend would always look out for people and do whatever he could to help people.

:: Spence :: "..Of course you can"

. I look at him with a little smile. I knew Scott would use his heart for good all the time and put others before himself. And if i could make Ian feel safe and protect him for even just one night like Scott did for me and so many others on a daily basis, then I wasn't about to say no to him.

:: Spence :: "You don't have to worry. I know the feeling. Thats why I always sleep here. The dorms are so quiet with everyone staying in the hall now. Its the only place I can even get the tiniest bit of sleep. So if you'll feel safe in here with me then you can stay. I probably won't sleep much though so doesn't matter if you make noise or not"

. I give him a little smile and a little nudge. He could use Ciaran's bed if he wanted, but from what i knew of Ian and how he was looking at me, his eyes told me he just wanted someone to look out for him and protect him.

Subject: Re: .| Beat Up 5th December 2011, 10:45 am

.| IAN LOWRY |.
Thanks.

I slowly say and look at him.

.| IAN LOWRY |.
Its a captains duty to look after his SET. I was made up when they said it was you and then almost died when you got named my study partner. University life may be over and our lives are going to change but we won't just lay down without a fight. I am not the best of shot with the weapons.. but .. i am not the worst.

I put my arm over his chest.

.| IAN LOWRY |.
I will never forget the friendships and people i have met here.. and if someone asked me.. if i regret coming to AVU if i knew what was going to happen.. all this.. hatred.. I would say no.

I exhale and lightly close my fingers on his chest crinkling his t shirt.

.| IAN LOWRY |.
Thank you for being my friend.

Guest

:: Spence :: "You don't have to thank me for being your friend Ian. You're a great guy, and you have a great head on your shoulders"

. I put one arm around his neck, allowing him to rest his head on my arm. It was nice being around Ian, i weirdly found myself being really calm around him. It may be cause he just reminded me of Scott in some ways. But whatever the reason, he was good company.

:: Spence :: "I can't say I regret a thing either. Well, just .."

. Just that I should have saved Scott from that knife!

:: Spence :: "I've had the time of my life in AVU. It really has changed my life. But it's not over yet! And even if everything has gone to pot and we aren't studying anymore, you're right, I am captain! And while I'm still around, I'm still gonna be here for Set C ... for my friends. For my new family"

. I look into Ian's eyes, hoping I could at least keep him, Leon and all the others safe. I'd failed Scott, the most important person in my life, but I could still try my best to save the others around me.

:: Spence :: "So whats the deal? With Mark i mean. What makes you think you've made a fool of yourself with him?"

Subject: Re: .| Beat Up 5th December 2011, 11:06 am

.| IAN LOWRY |.
I asked him to be my boyfriend.. but its really hard to explain.

I breathe out loving snuggling with him and hearing him speaking was really soothing. I believe every word he says because he is Spence Foster. I laugh.

.| IAN LOWRY |.
..you'd throw me out if I told you the whole story.

I exhale again and move my hand to his shoulder.

.| IAN LOWRY |.
And this feels so nice to spend time with you and it makes me feel safe.. that a cold night alone in the hall.. with everyone on edge would be .. not for tonight. If you threw me out I would sleep in the corridor or.. my room.. and pretend... your.. yeah in my room.. whats left of it. I .. don't know.. ramble ramble.

Guest

. I was glad to hear him saying he felt safe. I wasn't quite sure why he thought I'd throw him out over stuff he'd done, but we all had our past and stuff we weren't overly proud of.

:: Spence :: "Ian I wouldn't throw you out. Even if the reason it's hard to explain with Mark was because you'd slept with Sandra. Not that i imagine thats what the case is. But we've all messed up or said and done something we can't take back. But we have to move on, take something away from the situation, and become stronger people from it"

. I shake my head, using my hand to turn his head to face me properly.

:: Spence :: "I'm sure Mark will realise what he wants. And from the way I've seen you two in class, I'd be suprised if he's not by your side sooner rather than later. You're a fab guy Ian, anyone would be lucky to have you. Even if you are a bit of a goof at times. You have a very kind and warm heart though, and thats what counts and matters"

. I look at him with a smile, holding him close to share the body warmth. The nights were really getting colder and colder since the weather changed along with the smoke monsters release.

Subject: Re: .| Beat Up 5th December 2011, 11:28 am

.| IAN LOWRY |.
Its not him that is the problem.. its me.

I take a deep breath and get ready to tell him all my thoughts as quickly as possible. I grip his t shirt and bury my head in his arm as close as my body would allow without giving away anything else. I grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr for a few seconds and speak.

.| IAN LOWRY |.
I love you and hold you on some kind of pedastool and really really love you and with everyone else its been just about fooling around god I have fooled around so much since coming to AVU so much like but its never my fault Justin Mark but it never meant anything in my head but you had a boyfriend so it was from afar and i am not saying this for any reason except when we talked in the gym I realized that.

I let go of him and exhale after speaking 1000 times to the million trillion and stand up looking at him.

.| IAN LOWRY |.
I could never have you and dived at the closest guy to me which was Mark. I saw this situation outside.. and on the island and thought.. that i needed someone to be with at the end. I know you probably hate me now.. so I will leave you to .. sleep. Promise me NOT to think about anything I just said... i don't know what the hell is wrong with me.. you have enough to deal with.

I lean over and kiss him on the corner of his mouth and keep my eyes closed to take it all in. I pull back and toss him the ball with a little smile and walk out with my heart racing and feeling even more of a tool than usual.

Guest

. Okay so I didn't see that coming at all. I laid there in shock, not knowing really how to react or what to do. I felt bad that someone felt that way for me and that I couldn't return the feeling. I knew it was tough when I said I love you to Scott and he didn't say it back instantly.

:: Spence :: "... Shit. Scott ...what do i do?"

. I look up at the ceiling. Part of me thought it was best to leave him, the other part of me thought I should go after him to check on him and try to stop things potentially becoming very arkward.

:: Spence :: "Seriously Scott. I blame you for making me less anti-social!"

. I push myself out of my bed, quickly heading out of my dorm. I walk bare foot over some of the rubble in the corridoor, calling out to Ian who couldn't have gotten that far. I catch him just before the exit of the building. I grab his shoulder and turn him around, looking into his eyes.

:: Spence :: "Ian i ... I'm sorry. I didn't realise. I wish i could say it back, I really do, like i said, anyone would be lucky to have you. It's just ..."

. I look at him and put a hand on his arm. I knew he wasn't stupid and knew why I couldn't be with him.

:: Spence :: "It's okay though. I don't hate you. Far from it. I'm just really sorry that I .. look, if you want to stay with me tonight you can. Nothing changes. If you want to get away from all that stuff and stay with me, you can. But I don't want you to feel you have to if it's going to be hard for you staying in the room with me. I'm not about to torture you by having to be in my presence after you said all that. Plus you can stay in the other bed if you want. Just please, i have got a lot going on right now, so the last thing I want is us avoiding each other"

Subject: Re: .| Beat Up 5th December 2011, 11:55 am

.| IAN LOWRY |.
Don't you?

I look at him glad that he didn't hate me for telling him everything like a foolish kid. I sigh finding it awkward now to be around him. I had tried so hard not to tell him what my feelings were and now he knows everything. I look at him and try to resist my urges which would make me look even more of a fool for wanting someone i couldn't have.

.| IAN LOWRY |.
Sleep well Spence.

I didn't want to put myself in the position of asking him something stupid. I didn't want to be allowed to ask him for one night that meant nothing and he wouldn't be cheating because his mind would be off. I was acting like an idiot and his will of not hitting me would be tested if i stayed in the same room as him.

.| IAN LOWRY |.
Don't think.. Captain. If those things come down.. you best help ha.

I smile and look up at the rain about to bolt towards the hall.

Guest

:: Spence :: "Well then I'll help right now rather than wait for them to come down"

. I grab hold of him, scooping him up with my arms.

.:: Spence :: "You'll thank me later when you manage to actually sleep"

. I carry him away from the door, heading back over all the crap that had crashed and crumbled inside the dorm building. We get to my door which I'd left open, and walk in. I keep hold of him as I walk over to my bed. I gently put him down.

:: Spence :: "Stay put. Don't even think of getting up and bailing or I really will hit you"

. I grab my quilt, putting it over him, and putting another light blanket on top of that to give him as much warmth as possible. I move back from the bed, grabbing one of Ciarans pillows and walking towards the door.

:: Spence :: "Goodnight Ian"

. I smile at him, hoping he'd get a decent sleep as I walk out of the room and shut the door behind me. I sit down on the floor, putting my back against my door. I lift Ciaran's pillow up and place it behind my head for something to rest on as I shut my eyes, knowing the chances of me sleeping would be extremely low, hardly having slept a wink since ... that moment.

Subject: Re: .| Beat Up 5th December 2011, 12:15 pm

.| IAN LOWRY |.
What a tool face.

I jump out resisting the urge to fall asleep because something was missing. I open the door and laugh a little at him falling into the room. I shake my head and help him up.

.| IAN LOWRY |.
The whole reason i wanted to stay in here was to USE you as a radiator.. so.. if i am staying here.. so are you. I am not making you feel weird in your own room.

I look at him waiting for him to get into his bed which he finally does with a few muffled moans.

.| IAN LOWRY |.
I am not gonna get all mixed signals.. you have told me.. i will get over it.. so don't be scared of you know.. contact.

I get into bed next to him and cuddle into him.

.| IAN LOWRY |.
Thats better... sorry again.. i am just messed up.. as is everyone i guess. I feel so safe you know its unreal.. goodnight Spence. I will stop talking now.

I close my eyes and yawn loving the warmth off him and the covers.

Guest

:: Spence :: "If you say so"

. I laugh a little. Ian was pretty good at rambling, but it was sweet. I smile as I look at him with his eyes closed. I lean in and kiss him on his cheek, keeping a firm hold of him to make sure he was warm and comfortable.

:: Spence :: "Sleep well"

. I smile appears in the corner of my mouth as I look at him just laying there. I slowly close my eyes, exhaling, hoping tonight would be the night i'd finally get some sleep.